I still love him!
I have been a widow for fifteen years and have three adult dependents. In 1998 I met a man whom I broke up with a number of times. He contacted me again at the end of last year. He made all kinds of promises and I believed that he would not disappoint me again. However, he began avoiding me after two months, and I found out that there was another woman. I ended the relationship, but went back to him and begged for another chance. I still love him, but I want to get on with my life. Over the past eight years he has been involved with any number of women: often as many as three at the same time. What should I do?
I am so grateful that you sought help before making you third big mistake!
The last two were giving such an unfaithful man another chance, and then pleading with him to take you back.
I cannot judge you, because fifteen years of widowhood (with 3 adult dependents to boot) can lead to a very lonely and meaningless existence.
However, I would like to implore of you: do not start acting desperately. You are worth so much more than the rejection and humiliation suffered by the actions of this man.
What he has put you through is definitely no better than a life without love and intimacy.
Indeed, it is much worse, because it leaves you feeling even more inferior and lonely.
This, in turn, causes an even greater emotional yearning for an intimate relationship; which will make you more vulnerable and prone to falling into destructive relationships. You have to get away from him and his abuse.
Maybe you should also get away from your three adult dependents?
If they won’t leave the nest, you should find yourself another roost.
Also find a meaningful hobby to fill your non-working hours. Choose an activity within your congregation or community which will earn you recognition for your efforts.
Take ownership of a scripture like Psalm 139: 16-17, which declares how wonderful it is to have a God who knows us and keeps us under His wing.
Say it out loud every time you think of your ex. Repeat it as often as you can, until it becomes part of your being and internal system of faith.
Instead of brooding over him, this verse will become the prayer of your heart.
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